We interrupt the regularly scheduled Italy posts to bring you this newsflash:
HOLY FUCKING HOT FLASH, BATMAN!
Seriously? How can I be this old??
So, I was at tea with teen daughter yesterday, when all of a sudden I started to feel hot. REALLY hot.
ME: Is it HOT in here, or what?? *fans self with napkin*
TD: No, but YOU are obviously hot!
ME: How can you tell?
TD: Maybe its the sweat running down your face.
ME: *blots face with napkin* Even my wrists are hot! *takes off bracelet*
TD: *takes picture of me with phone* This is really funny – You are bright red!
ME: This is NOT funny! Delete that picture! *lifts dress up as far as possible without being completely indecent, leans back in chair, opens legs and fans thighs*
TD: *giggling* My friends say you look funny. *shows awful photo she sent to friends*
ME: *bursts into flames*
WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING TO ME!?
Vodka, Valium & Duct Tape 
Did she get the bursting into flames shot?
It was unattractive is all I’m gonna say. Not something I’m proud of.
Welcome. We’ve been expecting you.
Said Satan…
C’mon, it’s a little funny.
For YOU. Me? Not so much…
Cheer up. It gets worse.
Comforting…
Sounds like me hen I was pregnant, are you telling us something?
NO! That ship has sunk…err…sailed.
obviously you are suffering from LACK OF ALCOHOL SYNDROME….seriously, it is true…it happens to women after rearing children and husbands for roughly 25+ years.. I’m not making this stuff up, I’ve asked my friend Cathy Warner who is an OBGYN and she agrees !!!
It HAS to be true if Cathy Warner said it!