My parents are a bit…
Republican old school. They are of another generation – my father raised on a Kentucky tobacco farm and attending a one-room schoolhouse, with no electricity or indoor plumbing until he was in high school, my mother raised on Limoneira ranch, a citrus farm in northern Ventura County. They were both late-in-life babies and I was a late-in-life baby. My grandfather was born in 1894, and both grandmothers in 1902.
This gives you a general idea of the era and mindset in which their brains still sometimes live. Technology has been especially hard for my mom (she just last month learned to use call waiting after 30 years of “Oh my god the phone is doing that beeping thing again!!”, I shit you not), and social media is completely out of her league. So when I told them I had started a blog, I was greeted with blank stares. I gave them the web address and asked them to go read my first few entries and tell me what they thought. They have known me for quite some time, so even though I’m not the
Republican soft-spoken conservative they had always hoped for, my writing style still shouldn’t come as too much of a shock. They have been following me on Facebook for years. That is – I set them up with a Facebook page, and every time I see them I show them again how to log into it.
At any rate, I was a bit nervous about their reaction. It turned out to be a typical conversation.
DAD: Your mother and I read your blog and we want you to know that we are proud of you and impressed by your writing.
MOM: (yelling in background) IT WASN’T AWFUL.
DAD: Keep up the good work.
MOM: (still yelling) TELL HER NOT TO USE TOO MANY CURSE WORDS, OR I WON’T BE ABLE TO SHOW IT TO MY FRIENDS. THEY DON’T LIKE CURSE WORDS.
DAD: Your mother says…
ME: (interrupting) Yes, yes. I heard. (indignantly) Tell her I am who I am and I won’t change to please anyone!
DAD: (audibly rolling eyes) To mom: She says She is who she is and she won’t change to please anyone.
MOM: WELL SHIT.
Follow up conversation last night:
Me: Mom, can I have your permission to use our conversation from last night on my blog?
Mom: Are you trying to set me up to look bad??
Me: Of course not! *crossing fingers*. But I might have to use some descriptive details.
Me: like… Elderly and inept??
Mom: Don’t make ME look bad. Make my friends look bad instead.
Mom: If you make me look bad I’m going to start my own blog to retaliate.
Me: Oh, so you learned how to log into the computer?