Recently my husband had been complaining about his back hurting after moving some boxes at work. I remembered seeing a new Thai massage place wedged in between a taco joint and a laundromat in the same strip mall as my favorite *cough* post-baseball pizza joint, so I drove over to check it out. I pulled up and saw that the windows were blacked out and the only visible sign read “Massage Open” in neon. I took a deep breath and said a quick prayer that I wasn’t about to walk into a “special” massage parlor. You know, the kind that specialize in “Happy Endings” *cough*.
Inside turned out to be a lovely little massage place, specializing in reflexology. $20 gets you a whole hour of reflexology head and foot massage. For $35 you get a body massage. What a deal! It would be wrong of me not to try it out before I send my husband there. You know – just in case.
I was put in a room and instructed to undress and lie face down on the table, with the blanket over me. The room was dark and my face was stuffed into the small hole at the head of the table, so when the girl came in I didn’t get a look at her. She started the massage and I tried to turn my brain off. You have to understand – this is difficult for me. No matter what I’m doing, I’m always thinking about 25 different things. Grocery lists, to-do lists, troubleshooting social scenarios where I have possibly
probably totally put my foot in my mouth (this takes up a lot of time)… During my last massage (a chair massage in the Seattle airport) my masseuse was an older woman with a cleft lip. I have nothing against people with cleft lips, and this woman gave me one of the best massages I have ever had, but during the entire massage it sounded like there was a pug standing behind me, and I just couldn’t get past the visual.
SO – I took a deeeeeeeeep breath and tried to concentrate on the massage. That’s when I realized that the masseuse was only using one hand, which started me thinking again. Why is she only using one hand? Does she only HAVE one hand? Is she a one-armed masseuse? How could there be a one-armed masseuse? Who would hire a one-armed masseuse? Why SHOULDN’T they hire a one-armed masseuse? One-armed people deserve a shot at all the same jobs other people have. Who’s to say that just because she only has one arm that she can’t give a good massage? She would just have to walk around the table a lot more in order to get to everything.
Besides, There are LOTS of careers that one-armed people can do. She could be a teacher, or a sales clerk, or a juggler…wait. Not a juggler. But I’m sure there are plenty of OTHER things she could do. Would someone decline to hire her based solely of her lack of appendage? That can’t be right. In fact, that would be very wrong! How dare they!? Those bastards!! Well, I, for one, am not going to put up with that kind of discrimination. I’ll stage a protest! I’ll bring all my friends! We’ll alert the media!!
It was at this point that she put both of her hands on my back.
Damn. Just when I was getting ready to jump on the bandwagon.