A friend of mine came home one day to find that someone had left a giant dildo with a bow tied around it on her doorstep as a joke. And when I say giant, I mean enormous. Like the size of my arm. My whole arm. It was quite realistic looking, aside from the enormity of it.
This was, of course, hilarious, and she immediately sent a picture of it to a whole group of us girls on Facebook. Much laughter and inappropriate joking ensued, except for our poor Canadian friend, T, who couldn’t see the picture and was feeling out of the loop. “Don’t worry! I’ll text it to you!” I told her. And I did just that.
T: Did you send it? I didn’t get it.
Me: I sent it! Here – I’ll send it again.
T: I’m still not getting anything.
Me: Odd. Okay, I’ll try one more time.
T: I STILL didn’t get it!
T: Which number are you texting it to?
*panic in voice* Oh god, Please tell me you didn’t text it to the 202 number!!!!
Me: *pause while checking contact information* Uhhhhhhh….mayyybeee?
T: I gave that phone to my 80 year old mother in law!!! You know she makes a wonderful jello and mandarin salad!! Why would you do that????
Me: Ohmygod! I’m Dyyyyyyinnnnggg!
T: So will my mother in law!!