When one thinks “Glamorous Italian Vacation”, one gets a certain picture in their mind. I guarantee you, it’s nothing like the actual picture of my family on vacation. We are way more Griswold than Audrey Hepburn.
Case in point: today I signed us up for a Segway tour of historic Rome. It was something different, and I thought the kids would really like it. I’m always trying to find unique things to do with the kids that still gets them to see all of the important sights.
I was right. It was easy to do, even for the small squishy one. Several companies had turned me away because they felt he wasn’t old enough or big enough, but Rex Tours was willing to give him a chance, with the caveat that if he wasn’t able to handle it on his own, he wouldn’t be able to go. We shouldn’t have worried. He was a natural. I, on the other hand………
Our guide, Leo, was very specific with certain instructions, such as “don’t try to get on the Segway by yourself”. Of course he was referring to the kids, not me. I am very capable and self sufficient. So, after our stop at Circus Maximus, I decided to be more efficient and hop on all on my own while he helped the kids. The moment I stepped on it, it began to jerk forward. And then backward. And then spin in a circle. It was during the spin cycle that I tried to step off. BIG mistake. I launched backward, to (thankfully) be caught by Leo before I hit the pavement. I wasn’t hurt, (except my pride), but there was one wee (pun intended) problem- during the course of my spinning, I had (inadvertently) …uhh…peed. Not a lot, but enough to make me uncomfortable. And really, isn’t any amount of unintended pee, no matter how small, too much?
Of course, when Leo asked me if I was okay I brightly answered, “I’m fine!” What was I going to say? “I’m fine except I seem to have wet myself”? “I’m fine if you don’t count the pee running down my leg”?
The rest of the tour all I could think of was how uncomfortable I was, and whether or not anyone could tell I had peed. Isn’t middle age FUN?