Baby, you can’t drive my car…

imageMy teen son has reached the age where he is able to get his driver’s permit.  I have some friends who try to delay this process with their teens as much as possible, but with his 6 day a week, never-the-same-routine-twice, unpredictable basketball schedule, I can’t WAIT for him to be able to drive himself.

The time finally came and we made the appointment at the DMV (for the love of Pete, don’t EVER go to the DMV without an appointment!) for him to go take the written permit exam.

Me: Do you want me to help you review before the test?

Too Cool for School Teen Son: I got this, mom. *holds hand up as if to dismiss me*

Me: Are you sure?  It can’t hurt to have it fresh in your mind.

TCfSTS:  *in his best douchebag attitude*  Ma.  I got this.  It’s fine.

Me: I don’t think it’s going to be as easy as you think.

TCfSTS:  Mom.  I’m good.  It’s cool.

Me: Oooooookaaaayyy.  Don’t say I didn’t offer.

On the appointed day we headed down to the Santa Ana DMV, with 347,912 other people. Thank goodness for the appointment.   Too Cool for School Teen Son made sure his hair was perfectly coiffed, and enjoyed making his best Too Cool face when it came time to take his picture.  Then he confidently strutted his way into the testing room, and I took a seat in the waiting area.

Fifteen minutes later he emerged, a completely humbled person.

“I failed,” he muttered at the ground.

…..”Bwahahahahahahahaahahaha!!  *ahem*  I mean, oh.” I responded.

When we got in the car to leave, Mr. Too Cool suddenly morphed into Mr. Outraged.  Clearly the test was a setup for failure.  No one in their right mind could know the answers to these questions!

Mr. Outraged:  *reading from the test*   “A man with a white cane begins to step off the curb…”   *more outrage*  Who cares what color his cane is??  What difference does it make if it’s purple or black or polka dotted?  Why do they even put that in there?!  Why can’t they just say “a man”?!?!?!

Me: Because a white cane means he’s blind.

Mr. O: …*hangs head*  Oh.     Well.    How was I supposed to know?

Me: Because it’s in the book.

Mr. O: What book!?

Me:  The one you were supposed to review.

Mr. O:   *with renewed outrage*  Well how about this?  You tell me – what is a “passenger car”?!

Me: A car.  That carries passengers.  Like mine, and all the other regular cars on the road.

Mr. O: *momentarily silent*  Well, then what is NOT a passenger car??

Me:  A delivery truck.  A semi…

Mr. O:   *extremely outraged*  They have passenger seats!  Doesn’t that indicate a passenger????  Isn’t that a passenger car????  You don’t see single seat CUBES driving down the road, do you???

Me: What exactly did you think a passenger car was?

Mr. O: *mumbles something unintelligible at the window*

Me: Excuse me?

Mr. O: *sigh* I thought it was one of those carts on the side of a motorcycle that another person sits in.

Me: *laughs so hard I almost pee*

Mr. O: WHAT!!?  Isn’t that what it’s called!?

Me: *continues to laugh hysterically*  Maybe you should try reviewing before the next time.

Mr. O: *sulks in indignation for the remainder of the ride home*

Follow Up:  I am happy to report that yesterday he managed to pass the test with a score of 100%


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5 Responses to Baby, you can’t drive my car…

  1. Kim says:

    I have to show this to my TCFSTDaughter, who also failed and won’t take the test again because she is convinced she’ll never pass. At least you got outrage – I got tears. Buckets and buckets of tears.

  2. Margaret Lewis says:

    Evan has his test on Thursday. Sounds like a review is not such a bad idea!!

  3. My niece is almost ready to take her test and since my sister-in-law spends 28 hours a day driving her around, she can’t wait, so I can imagine you’re thrilled.

    Found you through Lance – You had me at vodka and valium. I’ll admit a certain ambivalence for duct tape though.

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